Supreme Court Gives Gore’s Oscar to Bush
Stunning Reversal for Former Veep

Just days after former Vice President Al Gore received an Academy Award
for his global warming documentary “An Inconvenient Truth,” the United States
Supreme Court handed Mr. Gore a stunning reversal, stripping him of his Oscar
and awarding it to President George W. Bush instead.

For Mr. Gore, who basked in the adulation of his Hollywood audience Sunday
night, the high court’s decision to give his Oscar to President Bush was a cruel
twist of fate, to say the least.

But in a 5-4 decision handed down Tuesday morning, the justices made it
clear that they had taken the unprecedented step of stripping Mr. Gore of his
Oscar because President Bush deserved it more.

“It is true that Al Gore has done a lot of talking about global warming,”
wrote Justice Antonin Scalia, writing for the majority. “But President Bush has
actually helped create global warming.”

In another setback for the former vice president, a group of scientists
meeting in Oslo, Norway today said that Mr. Gore was growing at an unsustainable
rate.

“The polar ice caps may be shrinking, but Al Gore is clearly expanding,”
said Dr. Hiroshi Kyosuke of the University of Tokyo.

The scientists concluded that if Mr. Gore continues to expand at his
current rate, he could cause the earth to spin off its axis by 2010, sending it
hurtling into the sun.

“Here’s an inconvenient truth,” Dr. Kyosuke added. “Al’s got to stay away
from those carbs.”

Elsewhere, after foreigners received a record number of Academy Award
nominations, CNN anchor Lou Dobbs proposed building a 12-foot high fence around
the Kodak Theater.